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 e lived over 300 years ago in the 17th century.
He was a Christian layman who lived in a French monastery.
Nicolas Herman was just the guy in the kitchen who prepared the meals
for the others. Not much of a person to take notice of. He walked with
a limp that resulted from injuries sustained as a soldier. His disability
became so difficult he was switched from the kitchen to repairing sandals.
The world has long forgotten the names of the some one hundred or so
clergymen who lived at the Paris monastery, the ones whose stomachs and
feet Nicolas Herman served. But history has never forgotten that humble
kitchen worker and sandal fixer. He is gratefully remembered around the
world by the other name that he chose for himself, Brother Lawrence. Brother
Lawrence's life, experience and teaching set forth a way of relating to
God that has become for many -- after God's forgiveness through Christ
-- the greatest discovery of their lives. It is summed up in the simple
description, "The Practice of the Presence of God."
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Brother Lawrence never wrote a book. After his death 15 of his letters
and recollections of conversations with a colleague were gathered and
published. Protestants as well as Catholics recognized the treasure that
his life and counsel represented for Christians. John Wesley even included
his work in the Christian library he published for his converts.
On the following pages we give an adaptation and paraphrased summary drawn
from the letters, with some modernization for ease of comprehension. Sometimes
we have combined similar thoughts from various letters. Hopefully your
appetite will be stirred to want to read the whole, unedited comments.
Most libraries would have an edition. Or you can get the full text online
at http://www.practicegodspresence.com.
I did not find my way of approaching God in books on the spiritual life
or from the experience of others. For example, I was talking a few days
ago with a very devout person, and he told me how the spiritual life was
a series of stages. First one begins with servile fear. Then one grows
into the hope of the eternal life. This leads to the realization of pure
love. Each of these has its own different steps, but at the end one arrives
at a blessed state.
That isn't the way I went about it or understood it. In fact this kind
of approach discouraged me. So when I devoted my life to God, I simply
made a resolution to give myself completely to him the best way I knew
how by turning from my sinfulness and seeking to love him.
At first I followed the normal pattern of observing the regular times
set apart for devotions and kept my mind on thoughts of death, judgment,
heaven, hell and my sins. This I did for some years. And I applied my
mind towards God not only in the hours of prayer and devotion but throughout
the day, even in my work, always believing that God was with me and in
me.
So this is the way I began. But I have to tell you that for the first
ten years I found it very difficult. I thought that I was not as devoted
to God as I should be. My past sins seemed to be always pressing in on
my mind. I fell often but would then get up again. It seemed sometimes
as though everything, even God himself, was against me.
A Sudden Breakthrough
Throughout all this I still trusted God but at the same time wondered
if I had to look forward to these troubles and struggles for the rest
of my life. Then something happened suddenly that changed everything,
and my troubled soul found a profound inward peace. Ever since that time
I have simply walked before God in faith, with humility and with love
and I apply myself diligently to do nothing that might displease him.
I do what I can and then let him do with me whatever he wants.
So how can I describe what goes on in me? I am perfectly at peace with
my situation. I want nothing but what God wants in things both great and
small. I would not even take up a piece of straw from the ground if I
thought he didn’t want me to but would run to pick it up out of
love for him if that is what he wanted.
I have put aside all set procedures for devotion and seek only to continue
in his presence. I keep myself there by giving heed to what I pay attention
to and by my fond regard of God. This brings a sense of God's actual presence
that is constant and silent but at the same time a secret conversation
of my soul with God. This brings me great joy and inner rapture. Sometimes
I feel such an overflowing sense of God's presence that I have to deliberately
find a way to restrain and subdue myself when others are nearby.
So What Have I Learned?
It has been 30 years now that I have had full confidence that my soul
has been with God, and there are a lot of details I could spread out before
you, but let me just tell you how I look at myself before God, my king.
First of all I have to admit that I consider myself the most wretched
person. I am full of sores and corruption, and I know that I have committed
all kinds of offenses against my king. I truly feel bad about this and
openly confess to him my wickedness and ask for his forgiveness. Then
I simply place myself in his hands so that he may do whatever he wants
with me. And here is the amazing thing that I find: this king is full
of mercy and goodness. He does not chastise or condemn me as he might.
But it is as if he comes and hugs me, full of love and has me eat at his
table. He even serves me with his own hands and gives me the key to his
treasures. He loves to talk with me and take pleasure in my company. He
makes me feel as if I am truly his favorite.
Being at the Bosom of God
So you can see why my practice of devoting attention to God along with
my passionate love for him produces such satisfaction. Even an infant
at its mother’s breast can’t match it. So I hesitantly call
it a state of being at the bosom of God because it is so inexpressively
sweet and pleasant. Yes, there are times my thoughts wander because of
something that happens or through my own weakness but when I recognize
it I immediately redirect my attention to God. The thought sometimes comes
to me that I am like a stone in the hands of a sculptor who is making
a statue. I like to think of God as the sculptor shaping me into his image.
There are times in prayer when I find my spirit lifted up before God and
kept in his presence without any effort on my part. I know some will say
that this is a state of inactivity, delusion, and self-love. I will concede
that it is a kind of Holy inactivity, but I cannot accept that it is delusion
or self-love -- because the soul that enjoys God in this world is looking
for nothing but God himself. So if this is delusion then I think it God’s
job to remedy it. As for me I am content to let him do with me whatever
he pleases. I only want to do what he wants and give him all I have.
Yes, there are times when one can get away from the divine presence. When
that happens God recalls us -- sometimes even when we are absorbed in
our regular day to day activities. When we become aware of such prompting
from God, then we must respond with a lifting of our heart to him, or
by an affectionate thought of him, or by simple words to him expressing
our love.
It is my conviction that the practice of the presence of God is the center
of the spiritual life. Whoever truly practices it will soon become spiritual.
But to truly practice it, the heart must empty out everything else so
God alone may possess the heart and do whatever he wants with us. There
is nothing in all the world that we can find in life more pleasant and
joyful then a continual conversation with God. Those who never experienced
it cannot understand. But it is not for the pleasure to be gained that
we should seek God's presence but pursue it out of love for him and because
God wants us to.
If I were a preacher I would above everything else preach the practice
of the presence of God. If I were a spiritual director I would advise
the same. So necessary I think it to be -- and so easy, too.
If we really knew how much we needed the grace and assistance of God,
we would never let him out of our sight. No, not for a moment.
No Fear, Holy Freedom, Avoid Excess
While I am with him there is nothing that I fear. The practice of God's
presence is not physically exhausting. But at the same time we should
deny ourselves some other legitimate pleasures in order to more fully
devote ourselves to him. I do not mean by excessive disciplines. Remember
we serve God in a holy freedom. Also keep in mind that he expects us to
carry out our everyday responsibilities without trouble or disquiet.
It is not necessary to be in church to be with God. We may make an altar
of our heart to which we can go from time to time to converse with him
in meekness, humility, and love. When we make him the center of our life
and attention, then even the sufferings we endure can be seen in a positive
way and provide a certain satisfaction. The paradox is this: With God
even suffering can be pleasant but without him even life's greatest pleasures
can be as a cruel punishment.
We must learn to grow in God's presence by a process. It is step-by-step.
Don't be locked into rigid formulas or rules or particular forms of devotion.
Don't try to go faster than grace. One does not become holy all at once.
We cannot expect to escape the many dangers around us without God's
help. So we need to pray to him for his help continually. How can we pray
to him without being with him? How can we be with him if we do not think
of him often? And how can we think of him often unless it is a holy habit
in our lives? You may think I repeat this too much. But this is the best
and easiest way I know. We must know before we can love. In order to know
God we must often think of him. When we come to love him, we shall also
think of him often for our heart will be with our treasure.
So think of God all the time -- during the day, at night, in your daily
work, even in your leisure time activities. He is always nearby. Don't
ignore him. If you had a friend nearby, you would not ignore him when
he came to visit. Why then would you neglect God? In short, do not forget
him. Think of him often. Adore him continually. Live and die with him.
As a Christian this is our job and calling. This is what we are here for.
It is glorious!
How to Look at Pain and Sickness
I do not pray that you will be delivered from your pains, but I do pray
sincerely that God will give you strength and patience to bear them as
long as he pleases. The world, of course, cannot understand this. They
see no good at all in sickness and pain. But those who understand that
sickness can be used by God to advance his purposes can find in it great
sweetness and true consolation. In fact, we can go so far as to say that
God is sometimes nearer to us in sickness than in health. He can use diseases
of the body to bring healing to the soul. God knows what we need, and
all that he does is for our good. If we really knew how much he loves
us, we would be ready to receive anything from his hand, the good and
the bad, the sweet and the bitter, as if it didn’t make any difference.
So be satisfied with your condition even if it is one of sickness and
distress. Take courage. Offer your pain to God. Pray for strength to endure;
adore him even in your infirmities !
I do not know what God is going to do with me. I am happy all the time
and bear with whatever comes my way. I know I deserve the most severe
discipline, and yet I find that I am filled with joy continually, joy
that is sometimes so great I can scarcely bear it. |
